after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
