I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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