did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Randomize
