I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Come share oat with me in your robe
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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