He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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