It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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