Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
either way he was missing a nipple.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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