Im at strip club and am horny
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize