I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The ass gains better be worth it
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