Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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