I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize