he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she peed on how many people?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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