Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
