craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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