so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize