fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
handjob tips. give me some.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
