woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
