I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
