She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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