Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
