Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
