i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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