honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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