Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
