He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
