Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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