I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
