their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
The power of my boobs compel you
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
