Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
