Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
