Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize