My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I need to sanitize my soul.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
