We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
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