ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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