hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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