i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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