I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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