You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
