There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
