he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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