im gay
i know
yea but for you.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
