he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Randomize
