Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
