My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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