At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
