Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
