Sponge bath it is.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
