hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
