Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
