Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
