Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
