you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
