...so i touched it.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
