he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
