On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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