Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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