just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
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