For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
