I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
