He told me they were just razor bumps!
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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