I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
