O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
