how do flat chested girls get laid?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
