..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
