I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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