If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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