Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
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