Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
