Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
