dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
