I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I wish I could teleport
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
