Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
