After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
