just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
