That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize