please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
