Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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