how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize