I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
