that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
