he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
