I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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