Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
