i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this beer tastes like vomit already
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
