So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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