They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Drunk is not a location!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
