Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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