escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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