I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
